enjoy

There was once a Indian and an Pakistani who lived next door to each other. The Indian owned a hen and each morning would look in his garden and pick up one of his hen's eggs for breakfast. 

One day he looked into his garden and saw that the hen had laid an egg in the Pakistani's garden. He was about to go next door when he saw the Pakistani pick up the egg. The Indian ran up to the Pakistani and told him that the egg belonged to him because he owned the hen. The Pakistani disagreed because the egg was laid on his property. 

They argued for a while until finally the Indian said, "In my family we normally solve disputes by the following actions: I kick you in the balls and time how long it takes you to get back up, then you kick me in the balls and time how long it takes for me to get up, who ever gets up quicker wins the egg." 

The Pakistani agreed to this and so the Indian found his heaviest pair of boots and put them on, he took a few steps back, then ran toward the Pakistani and kicked as hard as he could in the balls. The Pakistani fell to the floor clutching his nuts howling in agony for 30 minutes. 

Eventually the Pakistani stood up and said, "Now it's my turn to kick you." 

The Indian said, "Keep the damn egg!"
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NoT SiNgLe and Never Ever Available

They've finally gone and done it! The parents have arranged one of those "meetings" where the "Any Other Business" is "Would you like pink balloons or red ones at the wedding reception?"

Yes! You're being introduced to a potential marriage partner. But to your horror Prince/Princess Charming(less) has a personality about as interesting as your big toe, wears clothes straight from the Patiala fashion show for Punjabi Farmers, has a face like a Pizza (with extra olives) and worst of all is an Accountant!

Lady: "Naheeeee! Mummy, don't force me to spend the
rest of my life with this uloo!

So how do you tell them that you're not interested? Well, there are obvious ways to say "Take a hike, Jack (or Jaswinder)!" but that could lead to teary eyes all round! So for your well-being The Funjabis have put together "Ten Ways To Say Get Lost - With A Smile." It may help you to adjourn the meeting more gracefully so you can live to have another one the following weekend!

1. Wipe your nose on your sleeve and then wipe it on theirs - twice!
2. Order a bucket of ghee to put in your saag during roti.
3. Sit on the dining table and shout loudly for food!
4. Tell them about your cuddly animal with which you like to keep a lioness 
5. After roti, lick your plate frantically - then offer to lick theirs!
6. When serving the ladoos, shout "Catch!" and throw it at them.
7. Talk with your mouth full and spray the samosa filling when talking.
8. Ask if anyone knows any good Punjabi swear words. When they say no, proceed to tell them all the ones that you know. Direct them at the grand mother for more effect!
9. Ask if you can tattoo your name on their forehead - in Punjabi.
10. Cat whistle at the parents - especially at the mother (whether you're a boy or a girl)!

If this doesn't do it, we suggest you go for the pink balloons at the reception!

گرفتن ریش شیطان

شخصی شیطان را د رخواب د ید  ریش او را محکم گــرفته و چند سیلی بروی زد ه و گفت ـ ای ملعون  برای فریب د اد ن مــرد م  ریش خود را د راز کــرد ه ای ؟ من تورا به جــزای خود میرسانم ـ

این بگفت و خواست سیلی د یگری بزند که ناگهان از خواب بید ار شد و ریش خـــود را د ر دست خویش د یـــد و خجل شــد ـ

فیل و مورچه

روزی یک مورچه با  یک فیل ازد واج کــرد چند ماه گذشت یکروز فیل و مورچه  با هم اختلا ف پید ا کــر د ند ـ فیل خواست پایش را روی مورچه بگذاردکه ناگهان مورچه فریا د زد ـ اگــر به من رحــم نمی کنی  به بچــه  فیل د اخــــل شکمم رحـــــم کـــن

خــدایا به جبرائیل بگو   به اسرافیل و میکا ئیل بگــوید  تا اوهم به عزرائیل بگوید که جان این ثروتمند بخیل را بگــیرد 

hey matty

oh my god!

that was so funny i even showed it to my friends and they laughed at it as well. What made me really laugh was because i live in NewYork and I see the Statue of Libertiy when going to school. and it really craked me up when i saw the bughra on it. in the joke where it says what if the taliban wins.

Matty Jaan

Besyaar khoobish .....