hi i was wondrin my freind wanted to get married last year but he was asking how could he marry a girl if u dont know what they are like, or if u have anything in common or even the most importent she likes you and has not been put under any strain by her family { (fav quote of gilrs DAD  mary this guy he is good looking a god family the have money) what if the guy was a wacko} or the same{ what about the guy he sign his life to unkown (fav quite of his mom you cant find a better girl good looking good family and blah blah blah ) i know  alot of family who have this perblom either the guy us wacked or the girl  so any thoughts welcome.

yours

matty

Well matty I dont know if arranged marriage is still going on in the west. If it is .... I dont beleive in them and I dont think it  is right at all. I mean marriage is not about just money , good looks and satisfying families ...its about commitment... !!

**** Why would someone want to make a commitment with someone they hardly know.  Even if anyone is involved in an arranged marriage , I think there are lots of ways to get to know that person.

lovelymariam jaan

maybe it doesnot happen in us of A but unfortuntly it happens in europe belive it or not i known lots of cases recently i have been talking to lots of my freind backin herat they are monaning about the same thing i know that it is very hard to change it there but we have to start somwhere and the realy painful bit for me is when the girls are treated like a marchandise for sale the more money you have it is like an auction but u think that europe should be better well in some respect it is but still lots of arranged marriges goes on uk is the worst though i will hope and pray it changes.

It is sad but guess we cant really do anything about it bz each family and culture has diffrent thinking . Believe it or not matty some girls and guyz who live here in the states would consider arranged marriage .... for some STRANGE God knows what reason!!!!!!!
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Hm m m m . . . .

Lovelymariam, matty....I've  found out  recently about arranged marriages here in UK as well.      I am not Afghan so,  to me,  that sort of situation is  out of context.   I     dont tend to  go giving lectures about things I don't know  properly,  So  in this  case I'll  just    give  my personal view  hope   without offending anyone.  I was raised    learning you marry  someone   you have got to know   sufficiently  to give such a big step, specially someone  caring, with good behaving  and values, someone that  in your heart  you   know will make a good husband  or wife.      In some cases  these  "arranged  marriages"   sound more like "busisness"   really  and as Matty said,  with the girl  looking more like a merchandise .   Being  arranged marriages   a cultural thing   I  have to "respect" that,  but  it has my respect only in the case that   the two  involved  at least KNOW  each  other and are  willing without presure,  to  go ahead with it.    Told you:   found out about " arranged marriages "  the same way   I found out couple of them ended up  in "divorce".  

hey matty

one thing for sure i think its not wrong to have a arranged marrige. where its nothing wrong meeting someone for the first time and falling in love. lots of afghans still do and i know that as a fact here in New York. Plus I am not being religious here but its very proper in a islam al well because its wrong to date without a nika. most of the familys and friends i have and known have arrange marriges and Insualluh they live happy and will be happy. Plus i am in an arrange marrige as well and there is nothing wrong about it. its like having a new boyfriend except your married and soon you will understand your mate very well. And also I do belive you must never judge a person for what they look like but their personality. Like they say looks can be deciving.

afg 4 life

afgprincess90

Dear afgprincess90

well i am sorry that i do no share ur views on the matter but your COMMENT is very greatly apprciated and i hope we have more lovely ppl like you to descuse the matter of course anythin in this world have against and far,  but ( i was on my way from herat to mazar shrif in 1997 we got off in a village we knocked on the first door to buy some food ( it took 20 days to get from herat to mazar shrif by car not joking ) this angel girl answerd the door later that day we found out that her father is asking (if u wanna marry BUY the girl ) 1000 cows and 2000 sheeps that is not an isolated case the other thing is when they name a girl at birth for a BOY what i am saying is the girl and boy should at least know what they get theirself into, A family freind of mine married a guy from usa a muslem guy from a very good family he was praying five times when he was in germany but when they married and she moved to usa after a month he changed. late nights, always drunk, he was abusing her and all the stuff that comes with it. so that is one reason any way let me ask you something do you know why the longest surra in holy quran called BAQARA meaning ( COW ), let me know if you dont. i will tell y it is related to this matter

afgprincess ROCKS thanks guys keep it coming