I met this wonderful Afghan man.  He is everything I ever wanted in a husband.  However after six month of relationship he said we could only be friends because his society will never accept that he married an American.  I don't want to let him go.  I converted to Islam 3 years ago, so religion should not be an issue.  He says he has to marry an Afghan because she would know his expectations.  I need help.  I love this man so much and don't want to let him go.  I started to study Dari so that I could speak with his family if I should ever meet them.  Can I change his mind?  I want to learn how to be his wife.  Can anyone here tell me how?  Please, I am American muslim born and raised in America and don't understand this tradition.  I was never raised that a person cannot marry someone they love.  My email is mariamjaan1@aol.com.

Hello, Are you sure he loves you? I know many Afghan men who are married to Americans. This has been accepted by Afghans living in the US.

he says he cares a lot about me and if he was to marry other than afghan it would be me.  I think that i probably need to prove to  him that it could work.  Can you tell me what an Afghan man expects of his wife?

salam mariam jan

once an afghan woman marries with a man without even those promises that christian people make during their wedding to eachother or idian people going round fire seven times making promises but we dont have that in our religion ok then if he doesnt want to marry u u have the right to ask him y did u date me although there is no such thing in afghanistan tell him that he is not doing any good coz y at first he choosed u to be friends or to be his girlfriend now u have the rite to be his wife as well he has no rite to say no.

hello, what do u thing the afghan man can't marry to afghan girl

--- quoted from "Mariamjaan1" ----------
he says he cares a lot about me and if he was to marry other than afghan it would be me.  I think that i probably need to prove to  him that it could work.  Can you tell me what an Afghan man expects of his wife?
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salamz dear mariam jaan!!

 i think he is not worth it!!cause if he was like a real afghan muslim guy. then he shouldn't have dated u @ first place!! coz it is forbidden as u know in our religion n as well as in our culture!!

so, if he isn't agreeing to marry now then he has not much of ghayrat!!! to keep his words!! if he loves u ..... n considering u've converted to islam n struggle a lot to win his love!! but all he is doing is being a stubborn lill guy!!so dear sis, i suggest u forget about him!! n find someone else, another afghan guy who can understand and appreciate ur struggle in bringing urself closer to ALLAH(S) n to him!!

Hey

I think that it's a load of nonsense.  There is no reason why one muslim cannot marry another.  If anything is an issue then it is the religion, not the culture.  I think that he is using this reason as an excuse.  He is hiding behind it.  Like most men though, he will only realise what he had when he loses it, maybe that is what he needs to see.